Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
