I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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