you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
