I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I am naked and annoyed.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
