Your tits are I can't wait for
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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