I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
