Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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