Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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