I feel like abortions should bother me more
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
