I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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