two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Pants are for mortals
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
