Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
