and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
