What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
