Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
