maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I haven't been this sober since birth.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
