If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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