I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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