You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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