Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
