So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
