What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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