Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i would punch a child for taco bell
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
