so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
