I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
