so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
