I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
