i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
