Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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