Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
