i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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