I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I could fuck to npr.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
