you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
