they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
