oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
