you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
