Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
