she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize