so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We are two peas in an std pod
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
