Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
