The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
