dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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