Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
