How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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