is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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