What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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