do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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