what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize