I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
