The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
