I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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