hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
