yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
