Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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