he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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