I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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