i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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