i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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