He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize